I'm starting to feel ok about my life being great even though the life of specific friends is shit right now. This isn't a selfish feeling, it's an acknowledgment that it's ok for things to be going well for me, even though they're not that great for others right now. I won't be a martyr. I won't feel guilty. I've gone through enough that it's about time I actually said 'hey, you know what, my life is going great right now and I won't apologise for it'. It's about rewarding my inner self. Not feeling selfish, not feel guilty. Just accepting that I'm good enough to have good things happen to me. Not that anything 'good' has happened. I just feel good and life is good right now. When it's like this I want to hold onto it for as long as possible because I know it won't last forever. It ebbs and flows.

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A dream job for me would be working on prosecuting war criminals. It's a fantasy. Sure I could go for it but that would mean leaving my country, working in Europe and oh yeah, work would be my life. What I'd like to do in the interim is learn as much as I can about these issues. If I'm ever to practice I know criminal law would be up there (I could defend or prosecute, I'm not partial one way or another) or issues relating to human rights.

What I'm learning is that there is so much out there that I'm just not educated on. So many issues that I am naive about, uneducated and perhaps even non-opinionated about because I just don't know enough information to form an opinion. It's easy to be 'outraged' about something but to really know the ins and outs..... I want to get there. The issue in the paper today about 3 Indonesian boys being detained in a prison with adult men.... that sort of stuff makes me ask a zillion questions and want to get to the bottom of it and free these boys. I want information, I want questions answered. I want to be able to help people. The law, just because it's the law, doesn't mean that it's right. I question it. I don't believe that it is always black and white. Just because the speed limit is 60 does that mean that that is the correct speed limit for that stretch of road? In my opinion, no it does not. Who says it should be 60? Why? Does driving at 70 in a 60 zone mean I'm driving 'dangerously'? I don't think so. Just because something 'is' doesn't mean that it should be.

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I have some really special people in my life. I don't need to be around people a lot. I've grown up alone, I'm used to being alone. I like my company. Most of the time. I need 'me' time. I don't function without it. But having certain people in my life.... it makes life that little bit easier knowing I have their love and support, unconditionally. And vice versa.