Detachment/devoid of feeling

I had an overwhelming sense of detachment from the world today. Devoid of feeling. It was a day I have felt before but with difference this time. I cannot say with precise accuracy why I felt the way I did, I can only summise that it was a delayed emotional response to yesterday.

I felt inside completely exhausted emotionally. As if I had spent the night before crying heavily and expelled so much energy there was nothing but a dead weight left. I was devoid of emotion. I however was not concerned by this. It was what it was. It would stay with me for yhe day and tomorrow is a new day.

I do not like feeling like this. At all. It is suffocating and depressing. I at least know now that it will pass

Walking to work I had a vision in my mind. Sunshine across a vast field. A field laden with yellowish grass that spans for miles, with mountains and hills surrounding. A little hut from which I walk out from into yhe warmth of the sunshine, yet the air has that crisp freshness of the morning to it. I am wearing a brown jacket that may have wool on the inside to keep me warm. Hound dog is there too running about and looking back at me with his tongue hanging out his mouth panting away, he's so happy to be where we are. We are in mongolia. A simple existence. A happy existence. I would love to experience that. For a month. Just simplicity. Getting up and being with nature, reading, cooking food, helping on a farm of some sort and have raider there with me. That would be a most fabulous and rewarding experience.


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