Apparently what I need is satisfaction. What I do need is not to feel like this - or have moments of feeling like this. I guess I did good. I went for almost a week..... and then..... the truth hurts doesn't it? Yes, especially when it's my own truth. What I fear. The one thing I don't know if I'll be able to conquer.... unless I get an opportunity to try to conquer it. It scares the absolute everything out of me. It's my whole core being.....

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I've been so incredibly horrible lately. I despise myself when I'm like this. It's so unbecoming and ugly.

Sometimes it takes a situation of leaving to realise how much your very presence actually has on someone. I'm not sure that we as human beings really tell those we care about how much they do mean to us. A simple hi, how you doing? may seem like a waste of time but it can mean so much to someone who may be going through some hard times that you didn't even know about... one simple little caring message can mean the difference.

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I've booked myself a short holiday. I'm not running away from anything. I just need a break and I need to do it alone.