Closure

My tiredness is starting to seriously get out of hand. How is it that I wake up on a Sunday so tired? That I have a shower and I'm out of breath just having a shower from the heat of it? I feel like I haven't slept for a day. That if I just have a couple of hours I'll feel all better. If I have a couple of hours it will turn into 7 hours. No shit. That is how tired I am. It's starting to worry me. I'm scared it's going to get so low that my heart is going to start to malfunction. And THAT is a real risk. Heart failure is one of the risks I have with my medication - or the lack of enough of it. It's not that I'm not taking my medication - I am - my problem is getting the amount of medication right. At the moment it's not right. And it's scaring me. To feel like this.

Roller Derby was great. Although I didn't contribute as much as I should have at the stall. I went off with my camera, ran into friends and spent time talking with them instead. I suck. But we did well at the stall and it was really cool to be a VIP for a day and have our cute as name tags hanging around our necks.

The best part was finally having closure. I'm not sure I can describe in words what I mean. It's certainly not that I think I should still be with G, because I don't think that. I think I just regret how I was when I was with him and realise how fucking stupid I was to doubt it (myself really). I can see that now, after all these years. But getting to meet his new girl was the best thing I could do and I feel so much better for it. Now there should be no issue on his friends part to hide the fact he has a girlfriend because I've now met her. And she seems so lovely and I'm really happy for them. He's a great guy, he always has been, he always will be. And hopefully we'll always be mates, even if it's just a random run in at an event when we see each other. That's the best I could ask for. Closure.