Mr Sandman

I'm still having problems sleeping. I thought Thursday night was the beginning of normalcy but it was just a tease. I went to Nic's for dinner and she made a delicious dinner for both of us and fed me well. It was really cool just hanging out, eating great food and drinking delicious wine whilst being smooged by Ginger cat - who bit my head! It didn't hurt, just surprised me. That's what I got for playing around and creating 'Fondle Me' on her fridge in letters and laughing hysterically like a child about it. Small things amuse me (clearly).

I decided to do something different for a change. I was going to drive N to work anyway so I figured I may as well go in with her and hang out at the bar. I took a book with me. Sure it's a bit weird but people do that right? Just more in the day I guess. Whilst reading Beat one young kid started talking to me. It was a very basic conversation of books, movies and a slight political question. I was then left alone. I quite liked people watching at the upstairs bar. I would have been happy to do that all night. Just watching. It's a great past time. Did I look that young when I was that young? Wow. Maybe I'm just getting older although I don't feel it that's for sure. And how drunk were some people at 11pm. I've definitely been staying in for too long. Or just going where the young kids aren't that's for sure. When we relocated to the downstairs bar and I took my seat at the bar again I was again interrupted after reading only 1 page of my book. So WW1 was discussed. As you do in a bar? Topic of my book.

I find it interesting when people say 'i'm getting old'. I then ask them how old they are and usually they're 26-28. Friday night it was a 26 year old guy. I definitely feel more comfortable in my 30's and definitely do not feel 'old' or that time is running out or that I can no longer do things that I used to do when I was younger just because of the number of years I've been living. I think that's a cop out. I strongly believe that if you want to do something - you'll do it, or at the very least try as hard as you can to make it happen. I think people get lazy and use the 'age' thing as an excuse because they just can't be bothered. They're towing societies line and getting in that line behind all of the other sheep. I refuse to get in that line. Life is hard at times. It it was easy what would be point? We would be a whole subconscious of zombies and robots walking around. Sure there are aspects of my life I'd like to be different but the only thing I have control over is ME. Not anyone else. What do people expect out of their life? What do they hoped to have achieved or think they need or should have done by a certain time in their life? Maybe they just don't want to miss out.