Everything and Everyone can go and fuck themselves.

I am not meant for this world. I never was. I don't know how or why I'm still here.

What does life offer me? What do I offer life? NOTHING.

Nothing but hurt and pain. Other people and their happy perfect fucking relationships.  Well adjusted people.  YOU CAN FUCK OFF.

Life has not given me anything to be happy about. Definitely not love. What a joke love is.  All it does is destroy my whole being. Over and over and over again.  I'm not one of the lucky ones.  I'm not meant to be loved or know how to love. I definitely do not allow love that's for sure. Why would I? All anyone does is leave anyway.  Why would I trust anyone. All they see is a pretty girl who they'd like to fuck and then it's, oh yeah, I'll just fuck with you for a bit but I'm not committed to you.. there's always someone else better out there. I'm not really THAT interested in supporting you and making you happy. You suck really.

YES I SUCK. I'm just one big lie walking around pretending that I'm all this when really, I'm empty and I hurt and I'm full of sorrow and pain.

The two things I love are my dog and my mum.  Everyone else has someone who loves them. Having a friend love me is not enough... in fact it's nothing. It won't hold me tight and tell me everything's going to be okay. I just want out. I just want out of this shitful world.

The whole core person of who I am is being trampled on over and over again by someone who said they loved me.  It hurts so much to be attacked so viciously and with such hostility.

I'm a fucking mess.  3 hours spent going back and forth on fucking sms because they are too childish to speak to me on the phone. I call, I get disconnected. Then I get a text of more abuse.

I'm sitting here for another day crying my eyes out.

I tried so hard. For nothing but hate and abuse. It's all my fault. Everything. My whole core being, attacked.

I'm so sick of being pummelled by this world.  I work so hard and all I get is shit in my face.

I am nothing. Just nothing. Nor worth anything.

I've just been broken up with because of my dog.

Apparently he's a mut, a mongrel, stupid, a dickhead and I'm sure a few other things.

I need to WAKE UP because I don't have time for a big dog and I should get rid of the dog.

Coming from someone who said they loved me and wouldn't leave me and wanted to build a house with me after 4 months.

I thought this one was a nice one. One that I wouldn't normally go for.... because they'd be good to me...... Turns out to be just the opposite. Abusive is more like it. But oh wait, it's me who has all the problems and needs to change.

I am done and dusted for good.

Just leave me the fuck alone.

All of you.

I don't want you nor do I need you.

I have listened to lies for the last time.

Just stay out of my fucking life.

I'm always fine until someone comes in and disrupts everything.

And then makes me miserable. On the pretense that they care.

They don't care. No-one will ever care ENOUGH.

It's never enough.

It's just worthless words than mean NOTHING.

I'm sick to fucking death of being hurt. I cannot take it any more. If I didn't have my dog, I wouldn't fucking bother.

Came home to this. Thanks 'milo'. x

Dinner last night before seeing Chico Flash

I'm about to embark on the biggest challenge of my life. I'm excited. I know it won't always be roses but we can try, can't we? I don't have any doubts about it. It just feels right.

It's all happened so fast. Really really fast. I'm throwing caution to the wind and going on instinct.