I'm sitting here procrastinating. The weather is so warm and I need to study. I don't want to. I want to have my social life back and not study. Yet what will that achieve? It won't lead to better career options or opportunities for me. All I can do is what I do now. I want more than that.

Next year is going to be real tough. It also doesn't help that I've got 3 holidays planned in the first 6 months. Shit indeed.

Can I go to sleep now and just dream it all away.... that I've studied that is.

Tired.

Have to make food, can't be bothered.

Have to study, can't be bothered.

Not sure I'm that into Season 2 of The Walking Dead. Boardwalk Empire.... yes! Sons of Anarchy... oh it's so good.

Work is going really well. I have my 3 month probation interview this Friday. My boss got back from leave on Monday and asked me how everything is going and how I'm finding it all. I said I can do the processing of the work, no problems, it's just the legal side of things in not knowing what to look for and the questions to ask. The next day he called me into his office and said he wants me to do the letters to the employers asking all the questions. I'll need to read the affidavit and statement of claim and go from there. I was so rapt! I've been, not bored, but not overly challenged. I can do the work no doubt, I can talk the talk with the employers and Counsel and other firm solicitors but I'm starting fresh with the legal side of things on the opposite side of the fence and that's my weakness at the moment (which I don't like as it makes me feel like a junior starting all over again. I haven't been one of those for 11 years). So I'm looking forward to using my brain and proving exactly how good I am.

Friends are awesome. I love the drive home from pizza with Sam every Monday. We always end up singing in unison to some cheesy song. This week it was Elton John. Last night was dinner with Nica and her work mates. Great night out. Today was lunch with Bree. I miss working with her. My ex number 2 boss Anna emailed me during the week and we're going to catch up next month for lunch. I can't wait. She's awesome and someone I really admired and looked up to. She has such a wonderful professionalism that I could really learn from. She has also resigned and is moving on to bigger and better pastures.

I'm so looking forward to a relatively quiet weekend after a really busy one last weekend. I crave my alone time.

Next weekend is going to be HUGE. Who decided to study over summer when there's so many social activities going on? I think I'd be bored if I wasn't to be honest.

Apparently I have 9 followers on my tumblr. Ok, whatever.

Head space is very.... Hard to describe but like a low humming buzz. Emphasis on low. I'm sick of being regulated by drugs.

In more exciting news I was given more responsibility at work today.

Tonight I would very muchly like to have someone to curl up behind, put my arm around them and fall asleep. Too bad I continue to ......

Over it.

Is there really a point?

Why am I studying? What for? What will it give me? Aside from a huge debt at the end and I'm not even guaranteed to get articles to get admitted to be a lawyer, which I don't even know if I want to be one. Why bother?

What's the point of taking a risk and asking someone out to find out the have made vows of the ring sort. Failure. I should just stay home and sleep forever.

No what I need to do is just STOP. I don't think I'm meant for all that this world has. Work sure. Friends sure. Happiness and Love - ha, that's just not funny anymore.

So sleepy tired but here's a minor update.

Friends are awesome.

I had the bestest weekend in ever with the most awesomest people ever (and there's still awesome people in my life I didn't get to spend the weekend with).

Friday - dinner and drinks

Saturday - overdue chats/catch up plus band viewing

Sunday - day out with a new friend

Monday - fabulous dinner and conversation

Tuesday - STUDY time.

I'm trying to do it all, live the dream. Work, study, have a social life, save money, have a bit of money to go out with (not my usual $20 a week allowance - yes that's how I can afford to travel every few years, I live scrimpingly!). So far so good.

Hound dog has taken to sleeping on the floor next to my bed. Naww such a sweetheart. <3



- Posted from the depths of my mind.

Monday to Friday - Work + Study

The Weekend - Study.

Social Life - bwahahahahahahahaha that's funny.

No seriously it's very stagnant. Although I'm having a semi social weekend this weekend!

And next weekend - Friday night is work stuff and Saturday is HARVEST!! If I'm still 'with it' Sunday (meaning not sleeping all day and night because I'm so tired from Harvest) there's a Dolly Parton tribute at Yah Yah's! Cool huh!

Perhaps I could have something to look at on the train again tomorrow?