Some people are awesome.

I'm so lucky to have the friends I do.

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In all honesty, if I didn't have the friends that I do I probably wouldn't be here. That's really a comment on my 20's really.

As much as I do a lot things 'alone', I can't do everything alone.

Thank you for being kind enough to actually care about me. It means the world.

I had a really nice catch up with a friend after work tonight. Last minute kind of thing but a great hour nonetheless. I like surprises like that.

Oh I'm so enjoying Keith Richards' Life. He's just met Patti, his gorgeous wife. There's an entry from his diary where we wrote about her at the time. It's just beautiful. It reads as follows:

Incredibly I've found a woman. A miracle! I've pussy at the snap of a finger but I've met a woman! Unbelievably she is the most beautiful (physically) specimen in the WORLD. But that ain't it! It certainly helps but it's her mind, her joy of life and (wonders) she thinks this battered junkie is the guy she loves. I'm over the moon and peeing in my pants. She loves the soul music and reggae, in fact everything. I make her tapes of music which is almost as good as being with her. I send them like love letters. I'm kicking 40 and besotted.

There's this photo of them on a beach in 1982. He's lying down and she's lying over the top of him from behind and kissing him and he's laughing. I love that photo. Real love and happiness.

Tonight I would really like to go to sleep in someones arms. Whether male or female I do not care, as long as they care for me and are happy for me to have my arms around them spooning all night I'll be happy.


I really really really need comforting right now. Just to have someone hold me in their arms until I fall asleep would be beautiful.

And when the rain comes down would you choose to walk or stay, would you choose to walk would you choose to stay would you walk walk walk walk walk away

Walk Away. For the first time in my life.

I'm sorry.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

That's what friends are for - Dionne Warwick

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well, you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you

Whoa, and then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
These words are comin' from my heart
And then if you can remember, oh

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times, in bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Oh, that's what friends are for

Whoa... oh... oh... keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, oh, for sure
'Cause I tell you that's what friends are for
For good times and for bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for (That's what friends are for)

On me, for sure
That's what friends are for
Keep smilin', keep shinin'

I did something today that only hurt me in the end. It hurt me a lot. I need to get real and stop doing things that hurt me. Stop repeating bad habits. Stop thinking like this. It's nothing but destructive.

I need to make a decision and a decision to be strong. To actually see what is GOOD for me and what ISN'T. In the long run. I'm in denial and I keep fantasizing that things will work out how I want them to be. But when I truly think about it I know that it won't. It hasn't yet so why would it in the future? It's not going to and I have to let go. I don't want to, I keep holding on and holding on, hoping, wishing, praying..... but deep down I know that it's not going to be.

So I need to walk away. It has to be me. It will only be me. It hurts. It hurts so much and it upsets me, it makes me cry, it makes me feel down and awful but for my own well being I need to do this.

I'll bare through the next 2 and on the second it will be said.

I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to deal with this and get through it. I see how I've done it previously but this time it's so much different and it's everything to me. But I can't do it.

HOLY SHIT!!!

I've just been given the biggest compliment for my work.

An artist I know is using one of my photos for their next stencil work. The piece will be on the subject of one of my photos (being a person).... but they're using my photo of that person to recreate a stencil of their own.

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

WHAT A HUGE COMPLIMENT.

I can't wait to see it when it's finished.

WOW!!!!!

That really has made my week. I'm so thrilled.

Friends are awesome.

I find it, well interesting isn't really a word is it..... it's just when people come into your life at a certain point and whatever happens between you happens and then you don't really see them anymore but they're there in the background or periphery, whether still in your life somewhat, or in your friends life, so still kinda connected to you..... and then years later they are back in your life again through circumstance or friend connections.

My head has been a little bit.... well I'm winning so far but it's that cloaked hooded figure with the negative shit trying to infiltrate my head. Fuck off will you. I'm happy and I want to stay like this.

A lot going on this week. Only two nights at home this week. Tonight and Friday!! So I'm staying in Saturday too. Sunday I'm out again. Then next Monday, and Wednesday and then Friday.

I'm going to get my Folio photographs printed this weekend. I'm scared they'll look shit when printed. Every time I show someone my lighthouse photo at Griffith Island I get wow, that's a great shot. Happy.

Shower, food, then Boardwalk Empire. Oooooh I'm up to Ep 10. You won't believe what happens in Ep 9!!! I haven't even finished this season and I'm already hankering for season 2.

Oh Jim Jones Revue last night -------- so much fun!! I did think the audience were like a bunch of geriatric statues. FFS it's a rock n roll band, how can you stand there!!!! Move motherfucker!

Needless to say the arches of my feet are so sore from dancing around in Cons on my tippy toes. Plus my calves. The end song was Good Golly Miss Molly with Steve Mackay from The Stooges on SAXAPHONE! WHoar, how cool is that. So yeah, really enjoyed the gig, hated the crowd, danced away and had a good time. Princess and the Frog was so much dancing fun!!!! I don't even have the second album..... kids the first album is rockin!!!!