Still sooo tired. Can't get up in the morning. By home time I'm just yawning and feeling so drained.

I recycled a picture frame from my bathroom wall. I turned the picture over, put black paper over the backing and fixed my mini paintings I got in Rome to the black paper and voila! new artwork for the bathroom.

So grumpy today. But then seemed to get a proper thanks when I left. ????

Really liking my new book - Wonders of a Godless World.

Looking forward to Friday - hopefully everything will come together nicely.

Movida Saturday!!

And I'm thinking Sunday I'll keep to me. Fuel Mag launch but I just wanna hang home.

I keep looking at holidays which a) I can't afford and b) don't have any leave to take anyway

There's an awesome trip through Patagonia but it's new and may not take off. After xmas holidays I'll be back to no leave again. As it is I only have 1 day owing to me and I've already booked in 5 hours of it.

Do I really really really???? In all honesty, YES.

Happy

There is never enough time in the day to devote to one's friends.

I seriously dislike my job.

I really like some of the people I work with and have developed better working relationships with some people lately. Which is really cool.

I feel like I should be making a decision about something in particular, but I really don't know. I'm keeping my options (not that I have any) open.

I really hope my photos don't suck tomorrow night. They aren't great. I want to do well.

I have something to apply for.

I'm watching Luke (When Will I, Will I Be Famous) Goss in some new sci-fi show.

I'm loving reading 'From Baghdad, With Love' but some parts of it are so full on I have to stop reading. I simply cannot imagine how a human being can live through what people over there are living through - on all sides. How do you stay sane after witnessing those atrocities?

I was doing good today until I fucked up, again. When will I ever learn.

Tonight I just want you to be here to hold me.

That is all.

No words

Nothing else.

Just hold me.

Impressions

One of our clients specifically asked to meet me today when they attended our office for a morning presentation. I was a bit taken aback that they even knew who I was or my name. I thought that was lovely.

A co-worker was so lovely in thanking me for my help over the last couple of weeks while she was in our group for the last couple of weeks.

I guess I don't ever think I make an impression. I'm just me and I just do what I do. I don't think that anyone really pays attention or cares, or that I make an impression. It's not having tickets on oneself saying this, it just opens my eyes more.

Nick Cave & Shane MacGowan - Lucy (live)

One, two, three.

One. Still.

Stupid.

Really need to do a photography course. I've found one (there are heaps that all seem fine) that starts really soon but it's majorly expensive. I should wait until February for new enrollments but Uni will start around then and I can't do two courses at the one time. One will suffer for the sake of the other.

So I'm thinking of biting the bullet now, being in debt, and doing the photography course now while I have the time. Just not the money.

How can one small thing bring it all back? Like there has been no gulf of time in between. Does it mean anything or is it just some random circumstantial thing that happens over and over and over again that leads to nowhere? Time to find out.