Dinner last night before seeing Chico Flash

I'm about to embark on the biggest challenge of my life. I'm excited. I know it won't always be roses but we can try, can't we? I don't have any doubts about it. It just feels right.

It's all happened so fast. Really really fast. I'm throwing caution to the wind and going on instinct.

What is there to say? Life at the moment is unbelievably good. Sure I'm petrified I'm not going to finish my current uni subject..... clock is ticking and I have an abundance of work to do for it. Sure, I'm 3 weeks behind at work in what I need to do..... Sure, I'm broke right now.

Sure, I'm embarking on the biggest challenge of my entire life and it scares me and I have moments every day where I question it and it's longevity because I've never experienced anything like this before. I wonder how long it will last instead of enjoying the moment. So every time I start to freak out I just think of what Trent said 'just enjoy it'. It's a whole different thing having someone there who cares about me and supports me and does things for me. When he's not here I feel like I'm missing something. Sure I still need my space but I miss him when he's not here.

The storm yesterday was really scary. It sounded like the roof was going to collapse. I was nearly in tears. I had water coming inside the house. I was worried water had gotten into the electrical wiring and I'd electrocute myself, I using up towels so quickly they were saturated within minutes. Thankfully the car is ok, there's no damage as such inside the house or outside. Damn it was scary though. So much hail.

Life at the moment doesn't seem to be real. I feel like I have everything. Sure there are certain parts of my life that I feel I still need to prove myself in, especially work and being so far behind. The real test will be early next year and my ability to manage all those hearings on the one day.

Uni is - well only having one subject over summer is extremely manageable yet I still have a lot of work left to go with all my readings, my assignment and my take home exam.

Money wise - yeah next year is going to be real tough and I doubt I'll be saving anything. Since starting to pay my HELP/HECS debt back I'm down $300 a month..... which is a lot considering I get paid fortnightly now instead of monthly, which over a four week fortnight period is $300 less than a monthly pay period. Yeah, ouch. Sure I'm earning slightly more over the whole year, but fortnightly pay sucks bollocks real bad.

Friends are great although I don't have enough time to spend with them. I get so tired after work and still on the weekends. I usually want to just sleep all day Saturday and then Sunday seems to be my 'do stuff' day.

I've met the most amazing and sweetest guy. The last week things have happened really fast but in a good way. There's honesty and communication and we know where we stand with each other and it's so good to have that. It still scares me but I have no inclination to run.

Real sleepy right now but I have to start all my readings for my assignment that I've researched and printed off. Just want to sleep though.

More stuff to the bedroom wall

So yeah I'm just a fuck up

But I'm being proven wrong.

I know everything is going to be alright in the end...... I just have to make it through the journey to get there first.

<3

For the first time in my life I don't doubt something. I can't even explain why. I just feel good about it.

Hooked on a feeling?